I am not a supermom. I will never be a supermom. I don't want to be. Those outfits others mask themselves with, I don't want to hide behind a mask. I want to be real. As real as I can be. Have you ever watched a hero or an underdog movie? That's who you rally to win while watching the movie. One of the movies I enjoy watching is "Here comes the Boom". What a great movie! An underdog, just trying to do something good for his friend and school. In turn inspires himself and others. What a great story.
Have you had those come along side you and rally you to keep going? Encourage you in your walk as a person or a parent? Gave you a hug when you just didn't know you needed one until it happened? I must admit, there are days it is hard to keep my head up. I'm in a hard fight right now. You see, life has knocked us quite a bit. It has bent me to the point of breaking. Emotionally, mentally, physically, and even spiritually drained. When your child hurts, you hurt. When your child struggles, you struggle. At times I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of darkness, while the helicopters with spotlights are whirring overhead in the wrong direction. You're in the background yelling, "Hey, I'm over here. Come on! I'm drowning over here. I can't hold on much longer."
Have you ever felt that way? You are desperate to be rescued. You are treading water. You get restless and weary. You feel as if you are about to just let go and let whatever happen, happen. Then, as you are about to give up. Something comes along and rescues you. Life is not easy. I see others who have been put down or not encouraged in their walks as parents and it makes me upset. We all need prayers and uplifting, even when it seems we might have it all together. We may be good at putting a smile on our face when inside we are crumbling. I have grown to genuinely care for the women in my Tuesday morning bible study. Even when I don't want to go because the week has tore me down, I fight through that because I NEED IT! This past week had knocked me down something awful. The study challenged me. Of all the questions I could have picked out of a stack that was given. Not sure if this is the exact question, but I'll attempt to remember it's phrasing.
"Are you a truck just sitting in a parking lot when you are meant for a track? if yes, why?" Well, I was honest and couldn't fight the tears anymore. I'm in a parking lot. One thing after the other kept happening and figuratively I was knocked on my knees. To which my friends carried this scripture out beautifully for me:
The bible states in Galatians 6:2 NIV
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
My youngest has struggled in school especially. We almost lost her to a nocturnal seizure feb. 13, 2010 at almost 3am. I'm at times what you would call helicopter mom. It was so hard to take her to a school, show someone else how to use rescue meds should they have to and pray they don't ever have to. Thankfully, even though she has had seizures off and on since that horrible night, she is growing. We are trying to do behavior therapy with her. She has speech and OT. There are times when someone will say, "oh she's so cute. How old is she, 3? Um, no actually she'll be 7 in July. To which, some say, "Really? Oh she's so small." Others give me a look as if to say, "what happened?" She still has the voice of a small child, but she is mine and coming along. Which leads me to this:
How can we be an encouragement to others around us when life is hard on them, but we don't open our eyes to see it? We stand and judge them based on just what we can see. One thing the storms of life has shown me is: Can I be more understanding and compassionate towards someone? Is my journey somehow showing others the LOVE of GOD.
I admit freely. My faith has faltered a lot and I've had doubts. It is difficult not to when you've lost a child. When you watch another one of your children struggle with being teased or with academics. Another one struggle here and there with medical issues. Daily they struggle with frustrations and how to express themselves. When you've watched family in physical, emotional, or mental pain for years. Why them Lord? Why? I still don't have answers, but what I do know is:
I was never promised a walk filled with roses or to never struggle. If I didn't struggle I may not even have a genuine need for God in my life. Someone once said, "You never know just how much you need GOD in your life, until HE is all that you have."
So, even though life is hard. That is true for everyone. No one is promised a walk without a few stumbles along the way. We can take it with asking for 'Grace with a side of life'.
Romans 11:6
6And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace.
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