True Beauty Comes From Within

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

As I am cleaning, sometimes I like to put on a tv channel that is known for selling different products.  As I am am cleaning, I am listening to them talk about a makeup product. The representative from this particular cosmetic company (not the hostess for the channel) was talking. It made so upset that I had to turn the channel.  I understand she is trying to sell a product, however how she was talking to the viewers came across very harsh in her words that she used.

She stated that, (and I am summarizing what she said instead of quoting it because I do not remember completely word for word) by not doing your eyebrows correctly or wearing the "right" product "you are robbing yourself of being the most beautiful you." (That I did remember word for word because it struck me in a not so good way). She went on to say by creating symmetry to the face with the brows you are helping yourself be the most beautiful you, because symmetry is how the human eye defines beauty.  

REALLY???? SO FALSE!!!! No wonder we have people in society who feel less than beautiful or have eating disorders. Trying to make themselves look like celebrities, or people in magazines.  If I cannot create symmetry to my face because of an accident or just because I wasn't born with features to be symmetrical, then I am not beautiful.  SO FALSE!!!!  

True beauty comes from having confidence and self-worth. What is this essentially saying to young people who we are trying to raise up to be good, kind, hard working individuals?  If you take what this cosmetic rep is saying at "truth" then, it doesn't matter how hard you work, how kind you are, how much beauty you have on the inside. If you don't have symmetry to your face you are not being the most beautiful you. What about those who had accidents or were born without being able to obtain symmetry? They are beautiful, unique, and amazing. They are survivors for walking the journey they have been asked to go through. They are beautiful inside and out regardless of if they do their eyebrows or wear makeup. 

Now, I am not saying I do not like makeup. I do. However, I don't wear it everyday.  I don't use it to make myself beautiful. I already feel beautiful. I have self-worth because I feel like I can hold my shoulders back with my head held high.  I have confidence.  It doesn't matter if others or even the beauty industry doesn't identify me as beautiful.  I am because I know to WHOM I belong. I know whose daughter I am. I know in whom my future comes from. 

There have been times in my life that I listened to critics. I listened to words just like that rep was stating today and I became very depressed, living in dark places while trying to walk in the light.  I walked in negative thinking and I did not have the confidence that I do now.  I don't know when that changed, but at some point I realized my self-worth and beauty didn't come from cosmetics, or anything superficial. I didn't need anyone to tell me I was beautiful.  I was bought a long time ago with a price I cannot repay.  How can you repay someone who has saved your life over and over? The only thing I can do is try to motivate, challenge, and help others.  I can be kind and loving to others.

I have been asked to walk a journey that some know firsthand and others judge quickly. NONE of that defines who I am, who I belong to, or where my beauty and hope comes from.  

I love this excerpt from Focus on the family, to read this particular article from focus on the family click the link (http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/sexuality/preventing-the-sexualization-of-your-daughter/what-the-bible-says). God doesn't make junk. 

Psalms 139: 14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  

1 Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Proverbs 31:30

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

I would much rather have beauty within and be kind to people than to adorn my face with a mask.  I want to teach my children to respect themselves, to respect others. To see themselves as GOD see's them. Beautiful, amazing, unique, and totally worth knitting them together in a mothers womb. 

So, I challenge you.  Take a picture of yourself without makeup or hair fixed.  Tag it with #TrueBeautyComesFromWithin then challenge others to do the same.  Let's start a movement. Let's start showing people that they matter no matter how they look.  Let's show media that they do not define us and cannot confine us in a small area. That we are beautiful, flawed skin or not. Makeup or not. 

Here is the Truth!!! 

WE ALL ARE UNIQUELY BEAUTIFUL.

Be your most beautiful self. 

Help Mate

Do you view yourself as a help mate or a servant?  God has been inspiring me to look more towards this.  I know there are some wives and even husbands who feel under appreciated, passed over, and invisible at times.  I'm not speaking for myself, but I know some women and some men that have felt themselves this way for a long time.  This is for both sides of the spectrum.

A servant is by definition: a person who performs duties for others, especially a person employed in a house on domestic duties or as a personal attendant.

When you are a servant for God that is totally different than being a servant to whom God intended for you to be a "HELPMATE".  God did not make woman from the man's foot bone, as if to say  "Man you can walk all over your wife."  He didn't create woman from the man's skull or brain to try to rule, dominate, or keep you under the thumb.  NO, GOD took a rib from the man's side.  

Genesis 2: 18 

The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a HELPER suitable for him."  Meaning, to come along side. Helpmate by definition is: A partner, helpful companion. This means, to come along side of one another to be each others cheering section, helping each other through the good and the bad of life.  To be equal to each other.  To share in life together, NOT one above the other.  

Now back to a woman being created from the Rib. 

Genesis 2: 21-22

21)So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. 22) Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 

There are 2 definitions for ribs:

each of a series of slender curved bones articulated in pairs to the spine (twelve pairs in humans), protecting the thoracic cavity and its organs.

Looking at this first definition, broken down the Thoracic cavity is also known as the chest cavity. According to the Encyclopedia Britannica (for those youngsters who have never saw the glory of these beautiful books-Yes books, they were what us older people used to study and learn more about subjects. Encyclopedia's were the primitive google. LOL).  

Without the Ribs, the Thoracic cavity and its organs would not be as protected from harm as it is with the Ribs encompassing it.  Straight forward.  YOUR HELPMATE is not there to be trampled on, put down, or criticized.  By doing so, you are pulling away your own protection.  Ever heard the saying, "Behind every person is someone who loves and prays for them."? 

Now looking at the next definition. 

a long raised piece of stronger or thicker material across a surface or through a structure, and typically serving to support or strengthen it, in particular.

Seeing the pattern here?  A HELPMATE is there to be your support. To help strengthen you in times of trouble and to stand in the gap.  To help carry some of the load you carry, so you don't have to bare the weight of it on your own.  

Be each other's best friend, and cheering section when life gets tough.  Life is already hard enough to get through with all that we are bombarded with.  Add in other items of life like kids, school, work, financial strain, bills.  It all adds up.  You can't expect to give 100% of yourself to someone if you don't even have 100% to give. Ladies, You may have a day where your husband has 50%, and needs some support.  He may have had an extremely difficult day at work and feels less than the best of himself.  Be that extra 50% for him to uplift and support him.  Gentlemen, your wife may have had a rough day also.  If she works outside the home, she may have had a rough day at work too.  If you are parents, the kids may have been fighting or someone got sick.  An unexpected bill came in the mail. 

Whatever may have come your way to where you feel less than 100%, be there for one another. 

Pray for one another.  Listen to one another.  Try to leave work at work, if you need to vent about your day; Don't do it as soon as you walk in the door.  Don't be quick to criticize, or act as if it doesn't matter.  If you had a bad day and they seemed to not care or didn't listen, how would it make you feel? Always stop to try and think how the other might feel if they were in your shoes.  Make time to talk to one another each day.  Take time to visit with your family before getting into the things of the day.  You might just find, those things that were weighing you down earlier...don't hold the same weight anymore.  

A great book (or watch the video) is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (http://www.5lovelanguages.com/).  It is so helpful to know what your loved ones Love Language is.  I would say mine is tied between physical touch, and quality time. Hugs and a quick peck on the cheek, or just sitting watching a movie with me makes me feel loved, wanted. Words of Affirmation would be high also.  Who doesn't like being appreciated or being thanked for all you do.  I'm not big on gifts. Don't get me wrong, I like being surprised with roses, or even a "just because" card.  It just doesn't say, "hey I love you" to me.  Anyone can buy a gift, but actually making time to spend with me or stopping to give me a hug is huge for me.  To me it says, "You were worth setting the time aside to spend together." 

My husband's was a little more difficult to pinpoint (even for him). I would say he is a sum of all of them.  Words of affirmation, I think would be high for most any guy. They want to know they are valued and that what they do matters.  They want to feel appreciated. Making them their favorite meal for dinner once in a while or maybe even once a week. 

Build each other up. Talk to one another. Don't go to bed mad at one another. Say you are sorry. Say you love each other (especially when you don't feel like it). Smile and make an effort for each other.  FORGIVE one another.  Everyone has short comings, don't make someone's short comings become long lasting.

Here is a list of challenges to do for one another:

1. Pray together

2. Write a special note. (Don't tell them) Leave it where the other will be sure to find it (example: front seat of their car, bathroom mirror-write it in dry erase marker, their coffee mug, wallet, etc)

3. Put the kids to bed early one night and snuggle with each other.

4. Plan a surprise date night. (get a babysitter, drop kids off, make special dinner, order takeout, go to a movie, or a special place they like, sit at mcdonalds and share a shake)

5. Go for a walk and hold each others hand. 

6. Call them for no reason and talk for at least 5 minutes, even if its about nothing at all.

7. Gentlemen, open the car door and help her in. Then, when you arrive somewhere open the door for her and help her out. Ladies, reach over and open his door.

8. Do something unexpected for the other that they normally do for themselves or for your family. 

9. Do something together that the other one enjoys, but that you may not normally like to do yourself. 10. Encourage each other. Try not to criticize for a whole day. 

Lastly, Be sure to end each night by saying "I LOVE YOU. I'm thankful for you"  

1 Corinthians 13 (courtesy of biblegateway.com)

If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.